you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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