Barsexuality is the new black.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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