Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
