i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
