You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.