We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
