I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
