Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We need to rekindle our bromance
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Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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