He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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