Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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