i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
