I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
40s are totally the cure
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
