i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
