I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize