Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So squirting runs in the family.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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