They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
