She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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