I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
