So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
