Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
pray to the hookup gods
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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