I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
