This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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