I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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