I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
