A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
