I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
