I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
