Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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