CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
tell me about the eggs
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
