He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
