i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.