Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned