Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (7088) Bad night (2631)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

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  (337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop. http://tfl.nu/jwrv
  Replies (18) Good night (4814) Bad night (1118)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (12241) Bad night (1496)
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  (714): View more from California

  You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"

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  (714): You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party" http://tfl.nu/cx8m
  Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (1031)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.

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  (704): Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out. http://tfl.nu/zs8i
  Replies (8) Good night (2320) Bad night (1033)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1499) Bad night (1846)
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  (725): View more from

  well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet

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  (725): well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet http://tfl.nu/w2wz
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (1588)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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  (609): it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/22js
  Replies (4) Good night (1630) Bad night (1155)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again

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  (506): When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again http://tfl.nu/dbq2
  Replies (7) Good night (2196) Bad night (841)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

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  (778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (1183)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.

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  (480): I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups. http://tfl.nu/acv0
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (549)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (635) Bad night (1026)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on

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  (309): Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on http://tfl.nu/7ltw
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (412)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.

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  (612): but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard. http://tfl.nu/0wpi
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (226)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.

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  (337): Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it. http://tfl.nu/fud9
  Replies (1) Good night (278) Bad night (504)

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