Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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