Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet