Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
