just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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