There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
