All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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