i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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