haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
