The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
