Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
accomplished twins. life is a go
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
