I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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