all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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