It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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