I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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