so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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