she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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