Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
