why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
