i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
one might say we're banned from that church
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
