giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
