Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
