i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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