he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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