You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
