I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
