I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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