If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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