Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
