I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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