She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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