respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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