know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize