Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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