Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
